Can Ikigai Coexist With Ambition?

Notes from a founder trying to build something ambitious - whilst still trying to live a nice life.

Most people have heard of ikigai - it surfaces as a concept in Instagram quotes, self-help books, guru podcasts etc. If your anything like me - you may have dismissed it and its importance. So what is it? Simply put:

It’s what you love, what you’re good at, what you can be paid for, what the world needs.

But in practise? I have a more nuanced relationship with it.

Ikigai, as I’ve come to understand it, isn’t some perfect job that will make you eternally happy. It’s not a goal or a milestone that will grant you fulfillment. It’s more like a feeling - a deep sense of aliveness. Albeit a quiet aliveness, not what you experience at 2am when frequenting a festival. Instead, its only really a feeling that you notice in hindsight.

It’s the joy of building something with someone who appreciates you for you.

The silence after a run.

The samba song that plays while you cook, when no one’s watching.

It’s a moment that just makes you feel pretty good about your self and life set up - without having had to ‘achieve’ anything.

And when you’re ambitious - like really ambitious - that’s where the tension starts.

When You’re Always Reaching, You Forget The Small Things

Ambition wants to project.

It lives in what could be.

It often feeds on next - the next launch, the next hire, the next engagement.

Ikigai asks you veeery quitely to notice.

To be here, not here there and everywhere.

To be a human being, not just a human doing. (Shoutout to my therapist for that one)

“Play long-term games with long-term people.”

— Naval Ravikant

Naval’s whole philosophy is grounded in the idea that real success - the kind that lingers (in the nicest way possible) - doesn’t come from chasing. It comes from alignment. From being with the right people, doing the right things, in the right rhythm.

And I’ve realised that the more I chase without space for (relative) stillness, the duller life becomes. There have been weeks where my calendar’s been full, my inbox busy, my LinkedIn going viral - and yet I’ve felt completely flat. Like I was running on fumes of validation. Even though each one of those things made me feel SO good at one point in my life.

But then there are other moments. Smaller ones. A deep brainstorm with my co-founder that doesn’t achieve anything particurally tangible. An hour swimming in a pond with no phone. A message to someone I care about, not because I need anything, but because I wanted to let them know I was there.

And suddenly, I’m back. I feel thrusted back into the game that is life (or something like that).

Shall we talk about how your job intergrates into this all?

IMO: Dream Jobs Aren’t Discovered. They’re Designed.

I used to build The Graduate Guide around the idea of helping people find their “dream job.”

I’m not so sure about that phrase anymore.

Most dream jobs aren’t found. They’re shaped - over a long time, and often in tension with your lifestyle, your values, your general rhythm. What makes someone feel alive at 21 might burn them out at 24. There’s no universal blueprint.

“The soul would rather fail at its own life than succeed at someone else’s.”

— David Whyte, from Crossing the Unknown Sea

I think about that quote a lot. It’s a reminder that fulfilment doesn’t come from ticking the boxes of someone else’s definition of success. Even if it looks impressive on the outside.

When you tie your identity too tightly to a title or a role, every conversation becomes a performance. “So what do you do?” becomes a 10-minute spiral into explaining your ambition, your startup, your mission. Even when you don’t want it to be.

I’ve been trying to ease off that. To talk about other things. To let the work exist, but not define every interaction.

Because sometimes, the most sustainable kind of ambition is the kind that doesn’t need to prove itself all the time.

Making London (or Ambition, or Life) Work For You

There’s this quote my dad gave me once:

“If you treat London well, it’ll treat you well. If you treat it like shit, it’ll treat you like shit.”

Goes without saying, other cities or towns or villages or hamlets exist outside of London. But I think my point here is that this quote is true not just for cities, but for ambition itself.

When I was younger, I assumed that putting myself in a high-pressure environment - building a startup in a fast-paced city surrounded by smart people - would be enough to keep the fire burning. That by proximity alone, I’d feel the rush I so desperately craved.

But over time, I’ve learned: the environment doesn’t work unless you make it work.

And part of making it work is knowing when to take yourself out of it.

To go for the swim (fyi, I am probably the worst swimmer who swims every day). To sit or run or walk in silence. To not expect every day to deliver a dopamine hit of “progress.”

I’ve come to value the quieter days - not because I’m slowing down, but because I know that sustainable ambition needs space.

Curiosity. Play. Even a little invisibility.

Try tell 16 year old me that invisibility is a good thing ahaha. Comical.

Quiet Ambition Is Still Ambition

“We don’t need more successful people. We need more peacemakers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind.”

— Often misattributed to the Dalai Lama, but it lives rent-free in my head

For context - I do not consider myself a peacemaker, storyteller or a lover (?). Thus, I do not subscribe fully to this quote.

BUT, there’s something undeniably beautiful about doing and achieving something quietly.

This newsletter is that for me.

A chance to write things no one expects from me. To publish without pressure. To hold myself accountable.

To share ideas not because they’ll get attention - but because they’ve been spiralling around (up, down, left, right) in my brain and need somewhere to live - thanks Substack!

That’s why I’m trying to move toward quiet ambition.

Not disappearing of the face of this earth - just softening the edges.

Letting growth unfold instead of forcing it.

Being okay with not being “on” all the time.

Still chasing. But not sprinting every day. My PB in 100m is 14.1s for those wondering. Impressive, I know.

“I started to wonder if the real goal was not to become wildly successful, but simply to design a life I didn’t feel the need to constantly escape from.”

— Paul Millerd, from The Pathless Path

That line hit me harder than most quotes the first time I read it. Because isn’t that what we’re all trying to do? Build a life we don’t want to run away from? Surely?

I Don’t Want a Resolution. Just a Reminder.

This post doesn’t need a conclusion.

Because ikigai and ambition aren’t puzzle pieces I’ve suddenly figured out how to lock together.

They’re just two forces I’m learning to balance - like everyone else. Whether or not they are aware of this is another matter.

But if anything here made you stop for a second, or helped you feel a bit more seen in your own chaos, then I’m glad it’s out there. I quite like writing, so truthfully it doesn’t matter if nobody cares.

And if you’ve got your own version of this - your own small rituals, contradictions, reframings - I’d love to hear them.

Please message me on LinkedIn. Share them. Call me if you know me.

Because I don’t want this to be a platform. I’d quite like for this it to be one big conversation.